By: Linda Fodrini‐Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Founder & Chairman, Eldercare Services

In doing support groups for Adult Children of Aging Parents, I often see the only child feeling guilty about decisions or wishing they had a sibling to help with all the details of late-life family caregiving. However, when those only children do come to support groups, they see that having a sibling can be problematic as well as supportive.

The support group affords you that sounding board that a helpful sibling would provide, it also offers support for your concerns and gives you ideas and new ways of helping without burning out or risking a health crisis of your own from stress.

Whenever we try to be our own therapist we risk not seeing what needs to be addressed. Family care can bring up lots of old hurts and when you are doing all the giving and never receiving a “thank-you” it can build resentment, anger, and even lead to emotional abuse of the elder.

So, if you are an only child, join a support group and regain a balance in your life. Get that permission to take a trip or a day off. If you are having feelings of depression and stress, and it is affecting other areas of your life, see a professional licensed therapist who knows both the counseling elements and the eldercare resources.

Eldercare Services can help you with both. We do a free support group on the second Thursday of every month – call our office to confirm the meeting and time – 925-937-2018.

After your loved one has had a stroke, it is important to know how to help keep them healthy and to do what you can to prevent another stroke. Survivors of strokes are at a higher risk of having another one, especially if their medications and health plans are not followed. Here are some things to keep in mind when your loved one has had a stroke. And remember that everyone is different, no one’s cause for stroke, recovery plan or medication regiment will be exactly the same as anyone else’s, so keep that in mind as you help care for your loved one.

Don’t forget the symptoms, and don’t be afraid to call 911 if you think they’re having another stroke. Remember, the sooner victims receive help, the less damage they’ll have to their brain.

Know what their medications are, and be sure they are taking them at regular times.

Know signs of depression and help stop it before it hinders recovery. Depression is common in 30-50% of patients after a stroke and may hinder the victim’s motivation to maintain their treatment plan.

Help them to be active, at a level that is right for them. Taking walks? Chair yoga? Stretching and light weights? It is important to practice cardiovascular exercise every day to keep blood pressure low and to keep the heart strong and veins and arteries flexible and healthy.

For a more complete list of things to keep in mind, see the Stroke Association website for 15 things to keep in mind. And remember, the best way to prevent strokes is to be active, eat right, and to not smoke!

by Michelle Kicherer of www.BananaPitch.com

By: Linda Fodrini‐Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Founder & Chairman, Eldercare Services

Often, it is at the Holidays when we have the time to take that breath and observe what is going on in the lives of our older family members. We realize they need some help and we need a plan, because things have changed since the last family holiday celebration.

You notice memory problems in mom, and she is talking about investments that sound like she is being scammed. Dad is also showing signs of being confused. Naturally you might say, “Mom you need help, this looks like a bad investment.” She responds by saying, “You don’t know anything, I am perfectly capable of making good financial decisions. Just because you are a banker doesn’t mean I can’t manage”. If this is the response you get from your comment, then it is time to put a strategy together so you can help, or at least see if mom is slipping down the path of a Dementia like Alzheimer’s.

Considering that 50% of adults over 85 have a dementia and dad is 86, and mom is 87, this could be what you are seeing.  On the other hand, if mom can’t see well and Dad is doing all the cooking, and you notice they have both lost a lot of weight. You might be noticing evidence related to malnutrition and/or dehydration.

Get a good start by calling in a Professional Care Manager/Aging Life Care Expert, who has a background in social work, nursing, counseling, gerontology or a related field. They can do a quick assessment and refer you and your parents to a more comprehensive evaluation if warranted. The Care Manager can stay involved and keep you posted all year long, so there are no surprises next Holiday season.

Get started right with a certified professional – Eldercare Services – Bay Area In Home Care – can help you in the San Francisco Bay Area and the VillagePlan™ can help you in other areas of the country.

Love gets tough – and everyone deserves the best quality of life possible.  Get started right.